NETT's Bread Makes Me Poop cracks Top 10 at Burlington Marathon Relay

NETT's Five-Person Relay Team called Bread Makes Me Poop finished an incredible 10th overall out of more than 650 relay teams at the Vermont City Marathon on Sunday in Burlington, Vt. and in the Mixed Open category we were fourth place.

As usual, Crazy Dave was his usual calm, low-key coordinating self prior to the race, directing folks to their checkpoints in a very relaxed fashion in an effort to ensure the team was well rested and relaxed.

The Chelmsford-heavy team got out to a fast start courtesy of our "ringer" Ryan Hunt on loan from the BAA running the first 5K leg in under 19 minutes. "I've been tapering for this race for six months and it looks to have paid off," Ryan said.

Ryan handed the bracelet to the Greek Streak Anthony Chamberas who knocked out solid 7 minute miles for his 5.5 mile leg. "Man, without a baby jogger or a work backpack, running is a breeze!" Anthony said.

Next up was Crazy Dave, taking on the 6.5 mile leg, churning out 5:40 pace after a slightly overzeolous first mile. When you can hear yourself say "Oh crap" when you hit your first split, it is usually not an encouraging sound.

But Crazy Dave held his s--t together and passed off to the "mixed" part of the team, Cindy Winther, who gets the Best Leg award hands down for the team, by running VERY consistent 7 minute miles (I mean within 5 seconds of each other ) for her 5.5 mile leg. Although happy with her run, Cindy said afterward: "I'm pretty sure I could have run sub-7s if Crazy Dave hadn't stalked me the entire leg--including the walk back to the finish area-- blathering on about how much he likes the feel of silky running shorts and what makes an attractive hamstring on a man."

And Big Ben Winther took it home by hammering in the final 5.6 mile leg into the finish, passing at least two or three teams. "You know, bread really DOES make me poop," Ben commented.


Bread Makes Me Poop finished in 2:51 with an average of 6:30 per mile pace. When ALL relay teams are included (there was a 2-person as well as 5-person relay division) it goes up to 1,075 teams and our team was 17th overall.

Special thanks to Bridget, Thomas and Doris for "taking the bullet" when another relay team sabotaged what they THOUGHT was the team vehicle at the hotel, by putting a nail into the tire. "When I find out who did that, those fu--kers are gonna pay with their spleens," Bridget growled.

Also extra-special thanks to Lauren and Treasure Hunt for hoofing it all over the course and up the hills in the rain. Somehow it's hard to complain you're tired from running around WITHOUT another human being inside you when there's a seven-month pregnant woman outwalking you back to the hotel after the race.

Bread makes me what? POOP
Bread makes me what? POOP
Bread makes me what? POOP