Big Ben busts it out clean in Philly

Big congrats to Big Ben Winther for uncorking a very speedy 3:02 at the Philadelphia Marathon this weekend. Here's his always amusing report:

"I went out a little fast because Crazy wasn't there to tug the back of my shirt, 6:50ish, tried to hold back a little through thefirst 8, but, you know me, kept right at the pace, and was doing 6:40s into the half, as the half approached I passed a chick that had crapped herself, and I decided right then and there, there was no way I was going to lose to a woman covered in her own fecal matter. I ran for a while next to another young woman who was pretty snotty and obnoxious so she made the list too, but at least she was not covered in her own mess. She was being paced by a guy and kept talking shit about the people around her that they all obviously went out too fast and would never hit the times they were currently on pace for....I didn't like her, swore I'd beat her too. But at least she didn't stink to high heavens of pooh.

I got swept into a pack of guys at about 16 miles, and I went with them, notching it down to 6:30ish pace for a while, then we hit a very small hill, and I fell off hard. But for the record, at no point did I lose control of my bodily functions.

I dropped back to 7 min pace at 18 and just never recovered, eventually going as slow as 8:20 a couple miles. There wasn't a piano on my back, but a very good sized Casio keyboard. I tried to pick it up a bit when I began to thinkg I could get in under three hours, but my legs didn't have it. I was passed by the mad crapper at mile 23 in a blaze of excrement, and never caught that other douche. My calves strarted to cramp up at mile 24, probably should've pumped more fluids, but I was actually cold all day, as it was around 40 when I started, 50 when I finished, but hands were cold the whole time.

Final time by my watch, 3:02.05. Not a PR, but at the end of the day, I'll take a 3:02 with no poop over a 2:59 covered in my own crap any day."